16th November 2012

Kept 11.5 kg off

What I weigh now: 64 kg

Height: 5’6 

I hate looking in the mirror…I honestly can’t stand it! Every time I do I find another thing I hate about my body. My stomach isn’t flat, my curves are too curvy, my thighs are huge, my arms are all yuck, back fat & disgusting, my face looks really fat…I honestly hate the way I look! 

When I go out shopping or am sitting in a cafe I see thin, model looking girls walk past & I wish so hard that I could look like them! Their thighs have a gap, they’re tiny waist & hips, flat stomach, none jiggly arms, no back fat & they have a thin face. Why can’t I be like them?

I’ve tried dieting, going to the gym, I do walk everyday…but it’s gotten to a point where I think not eating is the only solution. I mean, I haven’t been eating much in the last few months…I mean I would have yogurt, toast or fruit maybe an egg or some bake beans but nothing. This week I haven’t eaten in the last 3 days & I’m starting to feel hunger pains…they are driving me crazy…I’m feeling dizzy & it’s painful but I know it’s the only way to loose the weight. I hate feeling like this. I hate having to look at myself in the mirror and literally cry overtime I look at myself.

My weight is one of the reasons I started cutting, as well as my dad & bullying, but I’ve now moved countries & my dad and those bullies aren’t here it’s just me…I just want to feel beautiful for once. 

(Source: ijustwanttofeelbeautifulplease)

@7 months ago with 2 notes
#I want to feel beautiful #want to be skinny #wanting to be skinny #thin girls #I hate myself for being fat